so i just got back from church and i was pretty much crying. it sucks to know how real hell is and try to tell ppl and they wont LISTEN especially the ones that are supposed to be your friends well let me tell you guys what i have done that you might think is the worst thing ever: i have stolen, smoked weed, smoked cigarrettes, lied, gotten drunk, made out with ppl i dont even know, cuss, snuck out, cut myself, and probably other stuff i dont remember and im sure the ppl who are reading this right now are probably judging me because i have done those things but im NO different than you. because i still have GOD and i am trying my best to not get trapped in hell for all eternity and i do regret all those things and when ppl (my friends mostly) make comments and just look at me as if i am the skum of the earth i feel like crap and i just want to go home and cry but im just not gonna care because maybe you werent really my friend in the first place. but the one thing that MY friends do is just ignore me and when i talk they interrupt me or after i say it then they just laugh at it or have some "smart einstein i think im smarter than the world comment" well then maybe you werent really my friend at all. i listen to EVERYTHING my friends say and it just makes me mad when they cut me off or just brush it off or are TEXTING while im saying it. im always getting used because i cant say no to ANYONE and i always help my friends and try to be there for them and it just seems like im getting slapped in the face. and if you feel this way about me then TELL ME. i just feel like skum because some of the stuff ive done and what ppl probably say about it behind my back ESPECIALLY my friends. this isnt to make ppl mad but this is how i felt really the only ppl i can probably talk to this about is tim and my aunt because they know what its like. I LOVE GOD. | 
